By Ed Fisher
If you have a sexless marriage, you are not alone. According to recent surveys in the USA, nearly 20 million couples have a sexless marriage. Relationship experts define this type of marriage as one in which the couple engages in sexual intimacy no more than ten times in a year. For some couples, that type of situation may actually suit them just fine, but for the majority, it is a problem.
Men and women are very different when it comes to sex. Men often need sex to feel “connected” to their wife. Unfortunately, women need to feel “connected” before they want to have sex. See the problem? The truth is that sex is an important part of marriage because it helps to build and maintain intimate bonds between you and your spouse. Without sex those bonds will gradually weaken.
Sex for married couples is also different than sex for single people, and some people have difficulty making the transition to sex that is more about “emotional bonding” than “getting off.” Not to say that sex with your spouse isn’t as fun – you probably find it much more satisfying than those casual encounters your single friends claim to experience.
Some therapists look to blame a sexless marriage on a lack of sex drive on the part of the wife. This point of view can lead them to prescribe drugs or suggest sexual aids to “spice things up.” This may not be the best approach, and is often just a temporary fix. Often, when a woman seems to have a low desire for sex, it is because she lacks that emotional “connection” with her husband. This can be from arguing, dissatisfaction, stress, or any number of marital problems. If these other problems can be overcome, her sex drive will gradually return as her emotional connection to her husband strengthens.
Similarly, a man experiencing difficulty in the marriage will be reluctant to try to “push” his wife into having sex. He may also have “given up” trying to have sex with her. On one level he may even tell himself that he isn’t “attracted to her” anymore. The reality is, if his wife showed interest in sex he would be very attracted to her indeed.
You will find that as you improve your emotional bonds, your sexless marriage just might become a thing of the past.
What can YOU do to bring the Sex back into your sexless marriage?
So what can you do if you are in a sexless marriage? First, don’t give up. Sex is important. The secret is to regain the emotional connection between you and your spouse by fixing the other problems in your marriage and by getting real professional advice from the experts. You will never find the answer in internet articles which are usually full of the worst advice you can imagine. However, I have put together a series of articles from the top experts in the business and it’s free. Take a look at the huge form to the right >>>
Sex is serious business and you should take it seriously enough to seek out the right answers. How do you do that? in my experience counseling costs a lot of money is rarely effective unless you find the right, specially trained therapist. Too many therapists haven’t been properly trained in couples therapy, and besides: YOU CAN DO THIS YOURSELF just like I did I have posted some reviews of products that really helped me. Please read them and see which ones speak to you (I have personally read all of them and even if you buy all of them you will still be paying less than a single therapy session and getting many times the benefit):
Fix Your Sexless Marriage is a new product aimed specifically at people in Sexless Marriages. Click to read my Fix Your Sexless Marriage Review
Save My Marriage Today by Amy Waterman has helped thousands fix their marriages. Click to read our Save My Marriage Today Review. Save The Marriage by Dr. Lee Baucom is the first marriage book I ever read and I credit it with opening up my eyes to all of the things I was doing in my marriage and really making me see my wife and our relationship in a whole new light. I believe it was the best first step in saving my own marriage. Click to read my Save The Marriage Review.
When you read these books and/or join these programs you will become a relationship expert, capable of fixing your own marriage situation. Thank you for reading this far and I wish you luck in fixing your sexless marriage – Ed Fisher